


Pink Project

by StarryCorridor



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, No Romance, Spies & Secret Agents, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-07-20 18:57:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16143434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryCorridor/pseuds/StarryCorridor
Summary: ◇NO SHIPPING, SORRY!! :D-Red Leader hates spies, so via suggestion, he becomes one. What a stupid choice, really.





	1. We All Start Somewhere...

    He'd been running for several hours now, feet basically slamming down against the belt as it rushed past his feet at an astonishing speed. Every mile marked another beep was signaled, and eventually, Red Leader became lost in his own heartbeat to drown out the beeps that passed. A sore arm lifted to wipe sweat from his forehead, strawberry blonde hair sticking to it now. He really should be working, but that honestly was the last thing on his mind right now. Work pained him, regret and confusion piling into one large monster that laid before him.

    "Sir?" A voice struck him, breaking his pace and causing the Leader to trip and scrape his arm and knee against the treadmill. "Oh gosh-! I-I'm so sorry sir-" The soldier shut his mouth as his leader raised a hand in dismissal. The soldier looked around the room in desperate, seeking an escape just in case until he realized the only way he was annoying Red Leader was by being silent. "O-oh. Um, I was told to give you the response letters from the uprising-"

    Red Leader jumped to his feet, snatching the opened letter and reading over it quickly, scowling at a certain four letters written in ink. "Did you read it?" it certainly was far too soon for any of this to be occurring, you know. Red watched closely as the soldier tensed up, his skin turning a soft pale color as the Leader growled at him. "What a waste of resources." He looked back down at the letter and drew his gun to shoot the soldier twice, blood splattering from their head and across the room. Great, now his nice shoes were all dirty. He stepped over the body, kicking it aside for another person to deal with. His greatest issue was these damn rebels, where if he killed his ex-friends from the start, none of this would have happened. As he walked out, he slammed the door shut behind him. "In regards to your last treaty blah blah blah." He didn't have time for this bullshit. 

    At this point he began to tear off corners of the letter and drop them onto the floor, feeling relieved as the letter grew shorter and shorter until the reached a trash can, using his lighter to finish the job and toss the remains. This is what he has come to, isn't it?

    "Red Leader," a soft voice spoke, "I sent your recent requests out. Is there any more I can do for you?" The leader looked over at the new voice and realized his nametag was missing. The soldier seemed to jump and fix this mistake, and moved his coat so his name could be seen. PATRYCK. 

    He didn't remember asking anyone named Patryck for anything, "I believe I asked the director of communications to handle my requests." Red didn't want his personal and private information just leaking to anybody, he already adressed that problem once today. 

    "I'm sorry sir, he wasn't in the office today."

    Red realized he was too focused on how the soldier was looking down at him and how it made him slightly uncomfortable rather than what he was actually saying. He didn't want to bother wasting another bullet on a random soldier so he groaned instead and waved the man to follow him. "What a shame. Follow me Mr. Patrick." He didn't even notice he was saying the man's name incorrectly, nor did he care. "You're going to be my personal helper for a day. You don't mind, yes?" Nobody really had a choice when it came to Red Leader's orders. 

    So the soldier nodded, "yes sir," following in step with his much shorter leader.

    Red Leader knew he had to do something about this rebellion eventually. He refused to listen to anyone who made the comment "it's just a bunch of random boys." Speaking as if the rebels were weak and weren't much of a threat to him or his leadership. Complete bullshit is what he'd call it. He knew these boys, he knew them like the back of his hand. He just barely escaped them when he gained his robot back, too. The issue was that anything could happen in the hands of those three, it didn't matter what was going on, it was almost always in their favor. If Red Leader let them go on like this, he feared the Red Army would crumble from just the smallest thing even if he himself was one of those them once.

    He treaded on until he reached the breifing room, pushing the door open as the soldier followed him from behind. General's eyes watched and followed as their Leader seemed to float across the room and take his usual seat at the head of the table. He watched their faces as he fumbled for a cigar, lighting it up with steady hands. "Alright gentlemen," he began by taking a drag and blowing towards the ceiling, "what's the latest news?"

    The generals looked between each other, shuffled through notes until the brave one finally spoke, "sir there have been more reports of spies. We eliminated two this morning."

    "Spies?" Red Leader raised an eyebrow, whatever did that mean? How were they trickling into his ranks?

    "Yes Sir."

    He wanted to scream. He seriously could not believe at this point, he had nobody to trust. Maybe even this soldier next to him named, pat.. pat something... Pat, was possibly a spy too. He really did have absolutely nobody to trust. "Well then," Red Leader felt stiff in his annoyance, "we can't have that now can we? I do not like pests as much as the next. What do you purpose?"

    Apparently the generals hadn't thought of anything, you'd think working for such a high and mighty warlord they would do anything to please him. But just like their leader, they had little care to actually work. To everyones fourtune though, the soldier from earlier spoke up. While it was out of turn, Tord was interested in what the taller red soldier had to say. "What if we send in a spy in return? Maybe the spy can learn who is who, then we can dismantle from the inside without losing men." 

    Red Leader was silent in thought, his mind clicking as a grin found it's way in the other's direction. "Soldier, what is your name again?"

    "Patryck, Sir. I prefer Pat though." Last part was slightky brave... Tord was begining to like this soldier. Fuck it.

    Red Leader stood from his chair and put an arm around Pat's shoulders, patting one with his grin still remaining, "well Pat, you earned yourself a promotion with that, I like how you think. Men, meet your new supervisor and my new second in command."


	2. How Picky Can You Be?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Leader is extremely picky

    He had dismissed his generals soon after apointing the soldier as his second, Red Leader now full of ideas and eager to begin. "With all due respect," Pat began, "I only suggested the idea, Sir. I don't think an adverage soldier like me deserves to be at your side-" He pulled his body back as Red glared up at him, pointing an accusing finger. 

    "You put yourself in the crossfire durring that meeting, min venn. No normal soldier would have spoken up over my generals or even myself." Red Leader had figured everyone was afraid of him, and that he was on his own. "You basicly signed a death wish and lived. Also, I also can't have a spy myself and have everybody know. My last second rebelled on me and it's been stressful since." Red watched as Pat snorted a snicker at the death wish comment, and honestly, he'd be laughing too. But for an entirely different reason. "Since you are so high up, it'll be good for you to know my name."

     "I don't think I need to know-"

    Red lifted his hand to silence the soldier, "see? You aren't pressuring for information. I'm not giving you my name anyway, as if I'd ever use that garbage again." He preferred to be called Red Leader over everything. His true name was a sin that only the rebels used. "Come, Pat. You know the motto!" Sun up, productivity up. Those who do not obey would face punishment. Everybody knew that, right? It was literally writen everywhere.

     The duo began their trail to Red Leader's office, Pat close on the Leader's heels and eyeing everyone else like a hawk. Everybody else who hadn't heard the news of his "promotion" gave him strange looks, wondering what he could of possibly done.

     "Ah! Here we are!" The leader clapped his hands, pushing the two doors open with the sick grin he usually held. The forced positivity in the Red was the scary part, honestly. How a man could push a smile as he's ready to snap your neck. "Take a seat, only you can know this plan." 

     Pat raised an eyebrow and followed as his leader instructed, stipping and taking a seat infront of Red Leader's desk. Red Leader himself hummed as he walked around to sit in his desk chair, leaning back and beging to burn through another cigar. The heels of his boots digging into the dark rug and giving him goosebumps. Honestly, he usually never wore his uniform when in the privacy of his office. He preferred to be comfortable, you know.

     "So," Red began, "your plan might just work. I've made... minor adjustments to it." He waved a hand in the air in the moment, trying to urge and motivate himself on, "I've picked my spy. Nobody better than myself to get the job done." Red was sure if he was the inner man, he could know every tiny detail. No soldier was as observant as the Red Leader himself.

     Red watched as Pat's body raised slightly in alarm, "Red Leader I respect your word, but isn't that a risk to your safety?" The Red Army cannot function without the Red Leader. The world cannot function, without the Red Leader. These spys must be a serious problem if Red is willing to become suicidal. "I think we should pick another soldier-"

     "I can't trust my soldiers, min venn. I don't even know if I can trust you." 

     Pat sat back in his chair with discomfort as Red Leader mirrored and did the same. Pat realized what Tord was saying here, and he took a sharp inhale. "You... know this is crazy right?" He felt confident to speak to his Leader in such a manner, how brave. Lucky for him, Red Leader seemed to laugh it off.

     "Ah," he drawed on after his laughing fit, "ever say that again and I'll have your head on a mantle. Now! Where were we?"

     Oh. Nevermind then.

     Red had rambled on about his idea, which Pat had no other choice but to nod and obey. The Leader himself as well had no other choice but to use this soldier's willingness to his advantage, he wouldn't be around for long anyway. He couldn't afford intel slipping through the cracks once more, so after the rebellion was dismantled he'd have Pat killed. That should solve all his problems, right? No more spys, traitors or intel leaks! He felt a rush of excitement, the thrill and thought of bringing his enemies down to his feet motivating him more than ever. He'd finally get back at those three for all the shit they put him through. He could finally put h i m 6 feet under. He couldn't wait for yet another achievement on his shelf.

     He didn't ask much for Pat's imput other than for outfit colors and name choices. Which in the end Pat wasn't truly on board with, but his leader was picky. Red would never wear cool colors and had to have some sort of identity with his soldiers. So, they color-coded Red's new wear to be pink, and his name would be Alex Drot. Pat wasn't entirely sure as to why Red was so hell bent on how the name would help his soldiers know exactly who he was, but he'd go with it. Pat was tasked with ordering supplies on his own time and money so that Red Leader didn't look strange or any spys didn't pick up on the activity. Any small mistake at this point could cost Red his life. Once again, the world revolved around him, and couldn't survive if he died. Red Leader and his army really did have an iron grip on everything, living or not. 

     "I have no clue what to do with my hair." Red mummbled, ruffling at the strawberry blonde mess on top of his head that formed devils horns. "I don't like wigs, they look too cheap."

     "We could dye-"

     Red cut the man off before he could contuine, "I am n o t putting dye in my hair." God, here is what he meant by Red Leader was picky. "Those aren't our only choices, you know. I could always add something else..." The man hummed and sat back down at his desk, begining to type through his computer. "Ah! How about a type of colored wax and some gel. My friends are idiots so-"

     "Friends?"

     "You think you're funny interupting me. I only have so many bullets, let me spare them. Anyway," Red turned off his computer and scavanged his desk for a clean piece of paper and his pen. "I'm going to write down the items I need. We begin in two weeks so the army can prepare for my 'break.' Bring me or complete what I need in small pieces by then." Which was basicly a new phone, the outfit, the wax, contacts, first aid kit, relocation of certian supplys, and recall of orders in certian areas... ext ext. All writen down in the signature dark red ink. "That will be all, Pat." 

     The soldier nodded and gave a salute to his leader before exiting the room with the secret list in hand. Red Leader left to begin his temporary departure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I try to update on sundays, unlike TSOP which updates fridays. If I miss an update expect it to come later in the week or for it to be published the following sunday. My main focus is TSOP since TSOP is supposed to be me praticing allegory writing.  
> See you next sunday!  
> -Pilot


	3. Pink is a horrible color on you, Sir.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Leader is a whiny bitch.

       "I absolutely hate this." Red huffed, pulling at the pink hoodie strings with a distasteful glare into the mirror. Even if it wasn't for long, he felt ready to take it off and let the pink hoodie burn. He pulled the hood over his head, pulling the strings tight until he couldn't see anything. Maybe he'll die this way, just suffocate inside an ugly ass hoodie. Unfortunately for him, Pat didn't seem to let that happen. Pat seemed to be yet another loyal soldier who actually tried to make sure his suicidal leader didn't die.

       Pat tapped at the small container for the pink contacts in his hands, "sir you're going to mess up your hair." He opened each tiny compartment, staring at the small flexible pieces. Lucky for him, finding contacts was easy. Red had lightly colored grey eyes, so all he needed to do was find ones that would tint them pink. He wanted this to look as natural as possible, he couldn't risk Red Leader's safety by going cheap with anything. "You look fine." He assured as the leader pulled his hood down.

       He attempted to clean up his leader's appearance once more, surrendering once Red began to swat at his hands annoyingly. Pat placed the contacts into Red's hands to let the Leader figure it out on his own. Turns out, Red Leader had never used these before.

       God dammit. Let it be Red Leader of all people to be a blooming idiot.

       After what felt like hours, the time had finally arrived and you know? Pat felt kinda happy he was able to drag Red Leader through the hall and had an excuse to be rough. The bastard had been such an asshole these past few hours that Pat debated spiking Red's drinks just to get him to h u s h. Best he could do was leave out a cigar that the leader kidnapped without question. 

       But now, the leader was drenched in pink. His eyes, the pastel pink choker, shoe, and hoodie combo. His horns were forced down and darkened in color thanks to the wax they were able to use (curse Red Leader for hating wigs. This could have been much easier). But now he was complaining over nothing. Red Leader himself was cuffed from behind and limply pushed through the halls of his own base, the awkward feeling filling him. His soldiers seemed to fall for the look, some giving nasty glares and some whispers saying they were shocked anybody would dare break the rules while Red was gone. Little did these idiots know...

       "This is your new cellmate. Don't kill him." Pat pulled Red to attention, forcing him to glance at the captured rebels that were assigned 'to be tortured when Red Leader returned.' What a waste of resources, seriously. He could have gotten some valuable information out of these men, you know. But instead, he was willingly letting them go. What a genius plan and it all began as Pat shoved him into one of the cells, locked it and left grumbling. The entire act left Red convinced if that was even a good thing. Wait. Did Pat just call him a whiny bitc-

-∆-

       It's been three days and the rebels were just now beginning their attacks. God damn these mother fuckers were slow, and to be honest, Red was afraid that they'd lose this battle and he'd have to wait even longer to finally break free. But, by some sheer luck, a rather familiar and charming voice entered his ears. "Hey, Eyebrows! I found prisoners!" Wow. He expected the rebels to be smart and leave their 'top dogs' under high protection just like how the Red Army operated. But alas, that wasn't how these idiots rumbled. Red sunk his head lower from secondhand embarrassment, it would have been pathetic if he fell to a little uprising like this. Even going straight in was possibly a deathwish.

       Eh. It's better than nothing, right? At least they didn't have a suicidal leader who has an extreme phobia of spies that he'd wear the world's UGLIEST color. What kind of man becomes that desperate? Apparently, Red Leader. 

       "Hey there little guy!" A tapping came from his cell, and the lively face of one his ex-friends had appeared on the other side. Ginger hair, freckles speckled all over and vibrant teal eyes- this was the face of Matt. "Are you coming?" Did he fall for Red's disguise? You can't be serious, it can't be this easy.

       The other person... was less favorable to see, "If he doesn't want to come he can stay here and die. We can't waste time." The traitor. The backstabbing fuckass- Red felt his blood boil as he began to retreat from the cell. "Not much of a talker, are you?" This man was just about his hight, a tad bit chubbier and bushy eyebrows floating on his face. The red turtleneck was well worn and accessorized with jean overalls- god he looked like a fucking idiot as always. This man was his former second in command, Pau. If Tom wasn't alive, he'd have to say Paul was his most hated enemy. No one betrays Red Leader and doesn't face hell. The last traitor that the Red Army caught was burned alive and tossed for food at Red Leader's pet tigers. "Hey, you there, piggy boy?"

       Piggy boy? Says you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear im working on this

**Author's Note:**

> -Hey, I'm Pilot! You may have heard of me from my story "This Side of Paradise." If so, awesome! Welcome to Pink Project. It's the short AU story I am working on as a side project as I work on TSOP to help me progress in other types of stories other than drama.
> 
> -These chapters will remain rather short. expect as least 1,000 words a chapter! 


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